Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
