u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
