Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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