I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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