my sisters under your porch take her home
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
