Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
