Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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