It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
