No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
