Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
