if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sorry about my life...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
