Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
