uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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