..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
