new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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