My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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