EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
