just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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