I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
