What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
