i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
