Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Randomize
