Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
