haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
