i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
