im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
