Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
