But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
