at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
