It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
