it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
its not stalking. its research.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
