shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
