Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
