I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
