So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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