Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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