Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
