how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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