pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
