I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
