you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
