none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
