Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Fuck appropriateness.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
