Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
