I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
