and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
