He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
