I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
