How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
