i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
