if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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