I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
