I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
