We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
