She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have already put on my inside pants.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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